So, I decided to have an actual "blog" page instead of posting it on the homepage 'cause my homepage is like five miles long.
I hate that word..."Blog". Sounds like what I just sneezed into my kleenex.
So, forewith, herein, and asunder, my "blog" shall be more aptly titled.."Wendy's Rants!"
As opposed to "Wendy's Ants...in Her Pants!"
HAHAHAAHAA...I made a funny. Just seemed like the thing to say at the time.
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on December 17, 2015 at 2:25 PM||comments (0)|
Trying to officially start the Do It Your SELFies Costume Photo studio is so much fun!
Really. And for true.
Actually no. I'm tearing my hair out and stressing BIG TIME.
One reason is that my mom texted me yesterday (that would be mom of "Dad's Tighty-Whiteys Steal the Show" fame) I had the dates wrong in the newsletter I sent out to like a billion people, and media outlets.
Sigh. Thing is...before I sent it out I checked and rechecked (well, in my head anyway). But, I"m sure that media people, just like you, are smart and can figure out what date I mean, and cut me some slack because by the time I was checking and rechecking, my brain was mush from sitting in front of the computer screen for hours.
And you wouldn't BELIEVE the stuff I have! Mein Gott I have soooo much STUFF and costumes and SHOES...GOD..THE SHOES....
My main stress is, I suppose, the fear that I'll try to do all this promotion and no one will show up. You know, kinda like when you were little and you were afraid no one was going to show up to your birthday party? Or..ahem...was that just me? Seriously, I was always afraid of that.
Anyhooters, now I'm opening a really cool fun new business at my studio and I'm afraid no one will show up. This brings to mind, of course, our Good Friend Pope Pius II who threw and entire CRUSADE and no one showed up. And I thought no one showing up at my birthday parties would have been terrifyingly humiliating. But I digress...there I go with popes again (being the church scholar that I am. Really, I am. Published and all. Even given tours in St. Peter's Basilica and Papal Rome, but again, I digress).
So other than that fear, I'm trying to figure out how this will run smoothly as far as people checking in and out, where they put their clothes, where all the costumes are hung up so I can see the entire studio (lest some asshole decides they're going to try to flip upside-down on a pole), where can I put all the shoes, but how can I do this so I can break it down asap and put the costume room back together quickly for the parties that we do at the studio....
Don't get me wrong, owning your own business IS fun and rewarding, but sometimes it can just be SOOO overwhelming.
Well, on that note, I'm going to go eat some dark chocolate covered expresso beans. They're very tasty. And energizing. And they're "dark chocolate" which means they're completely healthy. And I got them at Trader Joe's, which means they're EXTRA healthy.
Tootles, and hope to see you all here at the Costume Studio!
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on November 18, 2015 at 1:15 PM||comments (0)|
Costume Photo Shoot Info and Packages Coming Sooonnn!!!
Think of the FUN you can have creating your own Christmas Cards, 2016 Calendars, Boudoir Christmas Books, Personal Inspiration Photos, and more!
Actually what would be REALLY cool, if I can get 12 or so Biblical-type costumes, is to have your friends and/or family come in and do like a Last Supper Reenactment (you know, all looking in different directions, whispering to each other, striking dramatic "Last Supper" poses).
Or any Renaissance (yes I can spell that word off the top of my head, thanks to my Masters Degree in Medieval History, which we all know is useful in the real world) or or Baroque dramatic work of art. The more serious you play it, the funnier it is. It's alll about the DRAMA people...all about the Drama!
Actually my mom and Dad (aka Joannie Arizonee and Desert Dad) are visiting from Arizona for Thanksgiving, so I've already roped them into being my models for the 2016 Reardon Family Calendar entitled, "The History of the World According to Mom and Dad".
And I shall dress them both up in costumes ranging from Neanderthal to Egyptian to Roman to Medieval to Victorian to 1920s Gangsters to 1950s pinup all the way through to FUTURISTIC, when I will make my dad wear this HIDEOUS silver foil jacket and matching pants. I'm not kidding. I'm going to do it. Teeheee...poor dad! He's such a sport!
Will be posting examples with the 14+ photo backgrounds that I just got in so you can see how versatile and CREATIVE we can be at the studio with all my ten zillion costumes you can wear too. Okay, well not ten ZILLION, but literally over 1000.
However when you have to drag half of them to the laundromat each Monday to clean them after the weekend Bachelorette, Birthday Parties, and Girls Nights Out we have, it feels like ten ZILLION.
Ten. F'n. Zillion.
PS-check the Facebook page for more pix. Tried to copy and paste here, but it's not working for some reason so I'm going to have some tea. 'Course if I knew what the silly Facebook page 'address' is, that would help, but it's Gypsy Rose Dancing on Facebook. Look it up...I'm sure you can find it. You're smart like that.
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on November 18, 2015 at 1:05 PM||comments (0)|
Sometimes you see things that are so horrible, so evil, so indescribable that the human mind cannot conceive of such an act against Mankind and all that is Good and Just.
Yet you can't look away...your mind tries, nay--craves--to understand how the God can permit such atrocities that are so heinous, so wrong, yet so desirable.
I recently gazed upon such foulness...such foulness that could be born only from the loins of Satan himself!
Yet I could not look away, no matter how much I wanted to gouge out my own eyeballs to stop the torture, the Madness, the downward spiral into Insanity from which I know I shall never recover!
So of course I ordered this stuff for the studio Costume Photo Shoots because really, how could I not?
I'd never forgive myself if I didn't share the fun!
Because really, haven't you always wanted to dress up as a jellyfish? Haven't you secretly desired the experience of wearing something so hideously tacky, and taking pictures in it?
OMG how fun would a Tacky Photo Album be?? You could wear the tackiest, silliest costumes I own and play it totally straight in the pictures, like you're the SEXIEST THANNNGG EVAHHH!
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on September 3, 2015 at 12:50 AM||comments (0)|
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on May 20, 2015 at 12:45 AM||comments (1)|
...since I ranted.
Well I mean I've certainly ranted since I last posted here, I just didn't post them, good Christian Woman that I am. Teeheee....
Anyhooters, spring is here, which is lovely and makes ya want to get out of the house and enjoy the day, right? (So you think now i'm going to tell you how great it will be to get out and take classes at Gypsy Rose. Well yeah, I'll get to that part, that's kind of a given, but I'd like to say other stuff first.)
I find myself in the sprintime perusing those evil, spawns-of-satan dating websites. One always feels so optomistic in the springtime, doesn't one?
I've got profiles on most of them, but they're never up because no matter how many times I say I'm looking for a guy between 43 and 48, I always get the 73-78 year olds who message me. Then I feel bad when I don't answer them back.
Ever read your competition on those things? Like ever say you're a guy searching for a girl just to see what you're competing with? I've done that a lot, and every time I do I can't help but pray that if I get killed by accident my family doesn't go through my browsing history on dating sites and see that I've looked for girls. That would be awkward. But I'd be dead anyway, so I spose it wouldn't matter, now would it?
I mention this because ALL the profiles look the same. All the women (and men, I may add), write that their family and friends say that they're sweet, nice, funny, caring, and a great person. Oh, but they can't live without sarcasm! (That should be a drinking game. You take a drink whenver you read "I can't live without sarcasm" or "I'm very sarcastic" in a profile. You'd be drunk in ten minutes.).
Everyone also seems to enjoy long walks on the beach, dinner, dancing, and movies. Barf.
BARF, I say!
Actually my headline on one of my profiles is "Enjoys Long Walks Off Short Piers" ('cause I JUST don't care anymore). How boring everyone seems to be. Not that I'm the stallar example of a roaring good time, but I think it's more fun to go food shoping on a first date, 'cause then you can REALLY freak out the other person and put the WEIRDEST stuff in your basket, you know, like Gefelta fish, or whatever those fish in jars are called, anything from Goya, or better yet....just fill your cart with raw meat. Like all thw way to overflowing with nothing but raw meat, and see how your 'datee' reacts.
Teehee...just thougtht of that one. Will have to try it out.
Well on that note, I've got tons to doooooooooo (like literally TONS of studio costumes I have to take to the laundrymat) so I shall leave you with the thought of a shopping cart full of raw meat on a first date.
Oh Yeah....and come by and take classes. Especially the Rebounding Fitness classes, early in the morning, on your lunchbreak, or after work. That's a realllly fun workout, only 1/2 hour, and if you take the mass pike westbound home, you can stop here, take that class or any other, and miss the traffic entirely.
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on February 24, 2015 at 5:35 PM||comments (0)|
Okay, so I haven't updated the site in a while (I just NOW took down the Valentine's page), I've just been busy.
Doing what, you ask?
Pickin' mah nose.
Pickin' mah wedges.
Sooooooooo....whassssssup? I've eaten nothing today but like 8 soft chocolate chip cookies (very stale), 1.5 Bear Claws (almond croissant-used to always get HUGE ones on the train going into London from Reading, and read Fortean Times magazine. COOLES. MAGAZINE. EVER!!), A mountain Dew "fruit" flavored super-drink, and some Ramen Noodles.
Can you IMAGINE what the inside of my tummy looks like right now??
Yes, well, on THAT visual....
And no, I still have literally about 150 more costumes to add to the Costume Bar, finishing labeling them and organizing them, etc, because MY GOODNESS I HAVE SOOOO MUCH STUFF!
Maybe I'll go do that now.
Nah....I'd rathetr pick my wedge.
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on February 6, 2015 at 5:00 PM||comments (0)|
Did you know that if you leave apples out in your truck cuz you're too lazy to bring them in adn they freeze, that they get these weird bumps on their skin? Really, they do. But then if you bring them to work with you and let them thaw on your desk for a bit while you're teaching (or napping, as the case was today), and if Mr. Mouse who lives in your studio hasn't taken a nibble, then the skin goes back to normal and you can eat it like you actually brought them into the house three days ago like you should have.
Wellll, put up new classssses...yadda yadda. Again if you want individual classes just EMAIL ME, 'cause I don't normally put them in the calender because I don't know when people want them.
What else...still haven't finished putting up costume pix and organizing them. There's just SO MANY! What I need to do is order Breaking Bad again on the tv and do it while watching that. Good show. 'cept my silly roommate got all pissy that I ordered the first season through the tv. *rolls eyes*.
Speaking of eyes....I figured out that if I'm dehydrated and not drinking enough water my eyes feel overstrained. Soooo...because I'm sooo cool...instead of just drinking more water, I found the "orange flavored" salt hydration packets they gave us when my parents and I went to Egypt. In 2010.
They still work though. Taste like ass, but still work. (and NO, I've never tasted ass,it's an expression you freaks!)
Okay, off now.
Oh, and I've got five ADORABLE hairless rat babies that were born 12/26/14 if anyone wants a few--BUT NO FEEDERS!!
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on January 28, 2015 at 9:40 AM||comments (0)|
My sister Beth, neighbor Lauren Barnes, and Me in MY snow fort after the Blizzard of '78. I emphasize MY snow fort because I FOUND IT FIRST!! Beth's snow fort sucked, so she threw me out of mine and claimed it as her own. I, being younger and not as strong as Beth, was forced to abdicate.
BUT I STILL SAY THAT WAS MY SNOW FORT!!!
Obviously there are no classes at Gypsy Rose tonight or Tomorrow (tuesday, 1/27), but my eyeballs hurt too much right now to keep looking at the computer and updating when the new sessions will start, so, you are all smart women, so just figure the classes/sessions starting Today, Tomorrow, and possibly Wednesday will start a week later.
Man, it sucks gettin' old! My eyeballs are KILLING me! I don't wear glasses but now I think I have to get some. Oh No! What if people call me "Four Eyes"??!!!
Ha just kiddin. I'll get some with a gamma-melter-laser-ray so I can incinerate those rogues instantly, leaving nothing but their purses upon the ground. Then I will go through said purses, take what I want, and then spit.
That'll show them to make fun of ME and my Glasses!
Okay, can't look at screen anymore. Tootles! Oh, and trying to put up and organize like a BILLION more costumes/props for the Costume Bar. And then have ANOTHER BILLION to go. Seriously, you all have NO IDEA how many costumes I have. It's actually pretty cool and makes ME want to do a Costume Bar photo shoot!
'Course, I wouldn't have to pay, y'know, cuz I like own the place.
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on January 20, 2015 at 12:55 AM||comments (0)|
...just not posting it.
Man, trying to get this costume catalog onine is CRAZY! So much stuff, catalog software is SOOO expensive, and taking pix and writing descriptions, etc about each costume piece, is, well, driving me batty. BATTY, I SAY!
Anyhooters, I know it looks like we're not offering classes on many weeknights, but we ARE. The weekly class sessions, once they start, don't show up on the calender but the time slot is taken. And we're busier than EVER for classes this season already! Have had to wait-list a few sessions too.
So again, if there's a class or Weekly Clsss Session you want that's not listed when you can do it, EMAIL US with three dates/times you'd like and we'll try to get you in for your first choice.
And now....Valentine's Day is coming and so we at Gypsy Rose celebrate it for those who have significant others in the form of Valentine's Day Champagne Room Class (private couple's Lap Dancing Class), and those of us who are single and bitter and wish a bit huge cyst zit grows on every obnoxious woman who just HAS to show you what her boyfriend/husband got her for Valentine's Day and all about their Romantic Weekend Away, even tho you did NOT ask, and you DON'T care, because you are single and wish you had someone to spend this most sickening holiday with.
Gee, SOMEBODY'S not single and bitter at 44 years old...teeheee!
So once again Gypsy Rose offers a class for the Rest of Us:
The Single and Bitter Valentine's Day Class!
(and you get chocolates and flowers too!).
So if you're single, make YOURSELF happy this VD and join a Single and Bitter Class (check the schedule and sign right up online).
Tootles for now!
|Posted by Wendy Reardon on December 30, 2014 at 12:25 AM|
I have more costumes than God Himself, yet I remain single.
How many costumes, you ask? TEN BILLION HUNDRED THOUSAND MILLION.
And the props that go with them...oyyy...the PROPS....
Been working like a crazy bird trying to get pix of the costumes and background scenery online. I have some, but of course, nowhere NEAR all, because I'm doing it by myself and although it is most fun and silly, it's extremely time consuming.
The goal is to get EVERY costume photographed and organized by size to put into an online catalog so you can see what we've got in your size for the Costume Bar, Pin-Up Parties, or Engagement Photoshoots.
Yep, Engagement Photoshoots.
I"ve got a lot of His/Her costumes that are sexy AND silly and that would make great Engagement pictures for an album, or if you and your significant other just want to come in and take selfies for something FUN and different to do.
Therefore, being occupied with all that I've neglected the whole "New Year, New Me" thing this December, as well as developing weekly fitness packages (going to try to do that today).
So if anyone wants to be models for the costumes, guy or girl, please shoot me an email at Info@GypsyRoseDancing.com because I'd much rather use real people than the rather creepy mannequins (plus they're both male and are constantly bickering about who gets to be the man in the picture....sigh...).
And I know the schedule is kind of sparse...shall we say...but I don't know when people want to start sessions. So if you're interested in starting a weekly session, please email and give me THREE different dates/times that would work for you for four or five consecutive weeks (depending on if you want the Sparkles Four Week or the Interpretive Pole Five Week).
And there's something screwy with the calender system and how it shows people who have signed up for classes. It keeps showing zero when people have signed up, so it looks like no one signs up, but believe me we've been busier than EVER lately! If it lets you sign up then there's space, if it doesn't, than there isn't, so email us and again give us times and dates that would work for you and we'll try to get your first choice in.
Thanks, and off to do a newwwwwwwwwwwssletter (which nobody freakin' gets anymore because of Gmail's separating emails...jerks.)