HATE Valentine's Day
The Valentine's Day
Single and Bitter Class!COME BY YOURSELF OR BRING YOUR FRIENDS!
Dress Up in Our Crazy Costumes *if you want* and Learn:
The Supermodel StrutA Sexy Floor RoutineTHREE Airborne Pole Swings(Different than the One Hit Wonder Swings)A Chair Dance RoutineAndHow to Pick Up a Dollar Bill with Yer Butt!
You Also Get:A Beautiful FlowerChocolatesYour Picture Taken in Our Life-Size Champagne Glass (with your camera)
-VERY LIMITED CLASS SPACE-
The Valentine's Day Single & Bitter Class is a class for the rest of us who loathe this "Holiday" of manufactured saccharin and unbridled, forced sweetness between those who are happily in love.
I finally learned that it's better to go out and do something fun on Valentine's Day that does NOT involve trying to meet men--because if you go home without a phone number, or if no one asked you to dance, and you've been drinking...you'll end up hysterically crying yourself to sleep about how ugly you are and how no guy is ever going to like you and how you don't understand how mean girls get boyfriends and you don't. Not that I've been there, of course...
Anyhooters I created the Valentine's Day Single and Bitter class for those of us who are single, bitter or not.
But the WORST part of this silliness is the next work day, when happy saps co-workers think you actually want to hear what they got for Valentine's Day.
And, sigh, although you didn't ask, they will babble on and on about their romantic dinners, getaway weekends and diamond earrings, while you try your hardest NOT to yell "I. DON'T. CARE!" , kick them in the shin and/or wish a huge shiny zit on the tip of their nose.
But I digress.
Our Single & Bitter Classes are really fun but...
THE BEST PART IS THE NEXT WORK DAY
...when the bouncy bimbos bombard you, brandishing their bling and blathering on about their Beloved, and ask innocently what YOU did on Valentine's Day (knowing full well you are single but not resisting that little urge to stab you anyway), you can say,
"I don't need a man to make me happy on Valentine's Day-- I went to Gypsy Rose, got to dress in a crazy costume, learned how to Pole dance, Floor Dance, Chair Dance, and How to Pick Up a Dollar Bill with my Butt. Then I got Chocolates, a Flower, AND my picture taken in a Champagne Glass!"
NOW Who's the Winner?
Hope to see ya soon!