Wendy's Rants!

Yep, It's Been A While...

Posted by Wendy Reardon on May 20, 2015 at 12:45 AM

...since I ranted. 


Well I mean I've certainly ranted since I last posted here, I just didn't post them, good Christian Woman that I am.  Teeheee....


Anyhooters, spring is here, which is lovely and makes ya want to get out of the house and enjoy the day, right? (So you think now i'm going to tell you how great it will be to get out and take classes at Gypsy Rose. Well yeah, I'll get to that part, that's kind of a given, but I'd like to say other stuff first.)

I find myself in the sprintime perusing those evil, spawns-of-satan dating websites. One always feels so optomistic in the springtime, doesn't one?

I've got profiles on most of them, but they're never up because no matter how many times I say I'm looking for a guy between 43 and 48, I always get the 73-78 year olds who message me.  Then I feel bad when I don't answer them back.


Ever read your competition on those things? Like ever say you're a guy searching for a girl just to see what you're competing with? I've done that a lot, and every time I do I can't help but pray that if I get killed by accident my family doesn't go through my browsing history on dating sites and see that I've looked for girls. That would be awkward. But I'd be dead anyway, so I spose it wouldn't matter, now would it?


I mention this because ALL the profiles look the same. All the women (and men, I may add), write that their family and friends say that they're sweet, nice, funny, caring, and a great person. Oh, but they can't live without sarcasm! (That should be a drinking game. You take a drink whenver you read "I can't live without sarcasm" or "I'm very sarcastic" in a profile. You'd be drunk in ten minutes.).

Everyone also seems to enjoy long walks on the beach, dinner, dancing, and movies. Barf.


BARF, I say!


Actually my headline on one of my profiles is "Enjoys Long Walks Off Short Piers" ('cause I JUST don't care anymore). How boring everyone seems to be. Not that I'm the stallar example of a roaring good time, but I think it's more fun to go food shoping on a first date, 'cause then you can REALLY freak out the other person and put the WEIRDEST stuff in your basket, you know, like Gefelta fish, or whatever those fish in jars are called, anything from Goya, or better yet....just fill your cart with raw meat. Like all thw way to overflowing with nothing but raw meat, and see how your 'datee' reacts.


Teehee...just thougtht of that one. Will have to try it out.


Well on that note, I've got tons to doooooooooo (like literally TONS of studio costumes I have to take to the laundrymat) so I shall leave you with the thought of a shopping cart full of raw meat on a first date.


See ya!


Oh Yeah....and come by and take classes. Especially the Rebounding Fitness classes, early in the morning, on your lunchbreak, or after work. That's a realllly fun workout, only 1/2 hour, and if you take the mass pike westbound home, you can stop here, take that class or any other, and miss the traffic entirely.

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1 Comment

Reply Edie
8:02 PM on September 6, 2015 
Hi! You have a fantastic rants page. Really entertaining and funny, you have great energy. I had to leave a comment to say so. Also to say that dating websites tend to look awful to me. I agree completely about the profiles looking laughably similar, and cheesy to boot. I have not used one in a long time, but I did run across something called Paranormaldate.com. It did seem kind of interesting, people talking about ghosts and aliens and past lives etc. I don't work for them or anything. Just thought maybe I would pass the word along in case it was something that might be good for you. I hope to come by and take a class soon. Take care!